"Be who you are"

I first heard the prayer attributed to St Francis (there seems to be a question as to whether or not he actually wrote it...see prayer below) when I was living in Kuwait. A dear friend of mine, used to strum her guitar as a group of expat mothers gathered together for support and for Bible Study (1982-1984). The sentiments found in the prayer, inspired me to try to emulate them. St Francis raised the bar high and I haven't always lived up to my aspirations, nevertheless the prayer accompanies me on my journey.

The same friend, after she returned to England, sent me a card with this prayer on it. She found the card among her sister's things in South Africa after her sister was brutally beaten and raped by a roving gang of thugs. The card is among my dearest treasures. It reminds me the way of peace is not an easy path, even though Jesus said Blessed are the peacemakers. I believe they are blessed, nevertheless, that doesn't mean the way of peace is strewn with flowers and accolades. Often it is a hard road, strewn instead with sharp rocks and hurtful thorns that prick the skin, leave painful blisters, and even open wounds that take a long, long time to heal, and when they do, leave scars.

In 2005, on a journey to Italy, I had the opportunity to visit Assisi, the birthplace of St Francis. I spent time before the cross where St Francis felt he heard the Lord speak to him, telling him to repair his Church. Francis took the words literally and began to repair the chapel at San Damiano the site of the discovery of his calling.

As I sat on a hard bench, gazing at the cross, listening to a choir of nuns sing A Capella (it was beautiful by the way) my thoughts turned to the dilemma of the hour. I've always struggled with ""what do you want me to do, Lord?"" thinking there was some "thing," some "position," some "occupation," that I would somehow discover was "THE Lord's will" for me. Certainly, that was Francis' heart cry at San Damiano, and I too wanted to hear from the Lord.

So I sat there, in the manner of St Francis asking the Lord, "what do you want me to be?" it's interesting that I used those words, to be, instead of to do, because at the time, I was trying to decide between entering a residency program for Chaplains at the Med Center or working on a Masters to teach. I was asking, what do you want me to be, a chaplain or a teacher?

In the quiet of my contemplation I did hear, from somewhere deep within, "Be who you are."

I've thought about that ever since. Who am I? What is it that energizes me? Where do I find myself more often then not, in whatever relationship I am in, or whatever circumstance that confronts me? I find myself encouraging others. Primarily, the Lord's will for me is not a position, an occupation, a particular relationship, or place. It is being who I am, in the midst of life, whatever life brings my way. I can explore various occupations, and have, but in the end, whatever I choose, and right now it is to write, I'll be seeking to encourage others.

Simple, but not easy.